NEWS BRIEF…

WASHINGTON-During a press briefing at The Pentagon earlier this morning, CIA director, Leon Panetta addressed the question as to why they waited so long to take action on Osama Bin Laden’s location if they have known about it for months.

"We wanted to make sure Fast Five was the last movie that bastard saw" Panetta said, "If he wants to act like a monster, we’ll treat him like one."

CIA operatives had followed him to an Abbottabad theater on the afternoon of May 1st where Osama Bin Laden attended a matinee of Universal Pictures Fast Five starring Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson and Vin Diesel . According to reports, Bin Laden left 22 minutes before the film ended. He was reported mumbling to a friend, “They shouldn’t call it Fast anything if there aren’t going to be any car chases.”

Osama Bin Laden was killed in his compound in Abbotabad later that evening.