I’m not saying you’re an asshole, Luke. I’m just saying you seem like the kind of guy who sees a joke Facebook status and instead of just “liking” it, you comment on the status with your own shitty tag for the joke. Luke, you’re an assistant manager at Aeropostale. Stay out of show business. 

Explaining 2010s in 2060s:

Let’s see, what was going on…well, there was a photo of this cat that looked grumpy…that was a thing. Well, he wasn’t sincerely upset, I don’t think, just sort of comically annoyed. What else…

Well there was…

There was other stuff too, I think. But the cat photo was sort of the keystone for us culturally for awhile.

TURN DOWN FOR YOUR FATHER WHO JUST BOUGHT YOU BRAND NEW SOCCER CLEATS AND TOOK YOU AND YOUR SISTER TO PANERA, THAT’S WHAT!